April Showers

April has been a month of family and showers of love so far. Bennett took THE CUTEST Easter pictures EVER. He was so adorable in his little suit. Then he turned three months old! It's crazy how much we love that little munchkin. I'm sure looking at his pictures, it's easy to see why! That kid is so stinkin' adorable, but so dang stubborn. He is currently going through a phase where drinking from a bottle is just torture... He's been getting a bottle of formula about once a day or less since his first week and now he wants nothing but the breast. It's exhausting, but I'm so glad he is sleeping through the night because that is my only break... One of his nicknames (there are tons already) is BB and it not only stands for Bennett Barros and Booger Bear, but now Booby Boy. :)

 


April started with Jeff's brother and his family coming to visit. Bennett just loved his cousin, Amelie, who is just three years old. He would just smile real big when she would sit and hold his hand. He loves to be entertained. I keep telling Jeff that he would have done excellent as a younger sibling because he would have someone older (besides mom and dad) to entertain him. I guess he will have to learn how to be the entertainer for his future siblings...

While they were here, Bennett took his first trip to the zoo, rode his first carousel, and we walked around Manitou Springs and Old Colorado City. Jeff's aunt and cousins also came up from Black Forest to visit, eat hamburgers, and meet Bennett! It was fun. Luckily, the weather was perfect. Today, we have several inches of snow on the ground...

 


Just a couple of days after they left, we hopped on a flight to Houston to visit my parents. We were nervous, not just because it was Bennett's first flight, but because the weatherman was predicting a blizzard! It turned out pretty cold and windy, but there was barely any snow on the ground! They were talking about possible white-out conditions, but we got to Denver and our flight left without and any issues. Bennett did well. He loved the fact that he was strapped to me in his Moby wrap and slept in it a lot. He did have his first big tantrum while we were sitting on the plane waiting for it to be de-iced... that was fun... It was hot and stuffy to start out, but I finally got him calmed down and he did great the rest of the flight.

In Houston, we took Bennett to the Aquarium and he loved it! It was so adorable to see him watch those colorful fish. We ate our share of some delicious seafood, stopped by the Hard Rock Cafe, and took a stroll downtown.

My mom and her friend, Kippy, also threw Bennett a "blessing shower." I had never heard of this before, but wow, was it special. People wrote down a blessing for Bennett and for Jeff and I and then everyone just said a little prayer over our dear Bennett. This baby boy has had so many people praying for him; even before he was born. I know Tony has told Jeff that he prayed for Jeff's future wife and children. I remember praying when I was young for my future family as well. We are such lucky people; we are so thankful for the awesome love and support we receive from our friends and family. We live in such a crazy, scary world, with wars, slavery, and people setting off bombs in crowds... It's wonderful to be surrounded by such loving human beings and to be reminded of the good still in this world.

Exactly one month from today is Jeff's graduation from his MDiv program! I'm excited for him and I know he is so ready to be done with school. With his Master's degree, he will move up to being a 1st Lieutenant. He is starting to fill out his reappointment papers now and finalizing his endorsement from the North American Mission Board. It turns out that the Air Force just added several more chaplain positions so, after his reappointment interviews, they might ask him to go on active duty. We aren't sure where that will lead, but I am so proud of Jeff and love to see him following his calling.

I loved hanging out with my crazy family and I can't wait to spend a week with all of them in Orlando in June.

And she said, "Oh, my lord! As your soul lives, my lord, I am the woman who stood by you here, praying to the Lord. For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. Therefore, I also have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the Lord." So they worshipped the Lord there.
- 1 Samuel 1:26-28

Rest and Reflection

By this time last year, we had gone to a concert, sailed on a cruise ship to Mexico, bought a new house, I spent a couple weeks in India, and we were preparing for a week-long camping trip. 2012 definitely started off action-packed for us. Things began to slow down just a bit when I discovered I was pregnant, but Jeff still spent his month in Florida, and we travelled the country for two important weddings to attend. 2012 was an awesome year and this year isn't looking too bad either. It started out with a bang, with the birth of our first child, and we have some adventures coming up soon. For now, the last three months of "rest" have been a blessing. Just spending time with our almost three-month-old and watching him develop and learn each day is fascinating. I know it sounds trivial, but seeing him learn to reach for objects, finding colorful television shows mesmerizing, and waking up to his huge smiles each day, is a time in my life I never thought could be so exciting and rewarding. I sometimes find myself getting impatient for him to get just a little older so he can eat solid foods and won't be hungry all the time; or for him to walk or be potty-trained. I know those days will come quickly, so I'm just going to enjoy his dependence for now. He needs us to carry him, to feed him, change his blow-out diapers, and cuddle him to let him know how much he is loved. I may not be traveling the world right now as I had planned to do after college, but watching Bennett explore this new world is an adventure in itself. Jeff and I still have a long list of places we would like to go and we plan to make it to as many of them as possible. For now, the "place" of parenthood is our unexplored world we get to learn more about.

Next month, we will be updating our home study. We have to update it each year we are on the waiting list and we, of course, have to include our newest family member this year. We are still on the waiting list, and with all the adoption issues with government policies and corrupt orphanages worldwide, it looks like the waiting may be even more prolonged than anticipated. I am glad that we are going through a dependable agency that checks and rechecks family history for children who are relinquished or abandoned, but at the same time we can't wait to offer a loving home to one of the almost 200 million orphans that are in this crazy world. We did get an update on our wait list numbers this month. We are #121 on the girl list, #99 on the boy list, and #51 on the siblings list.

We do have some exciting adventures planned for next month. Jeff's brother and his family will be coming for a visit, then we head to Houston to visit my family. In May, Jeff will graduate from his Master's program, and June, we will be heading on vacation to Orlando for a week! And y'all thought a kid was going to slow us down...

With Easter coming up this weekend, I've been taking a little time to contemplate just what Christ did for us on the cross. First of all, I have a better understanding of the sacrifice our Father made by sending his Son. I don't think I could give my son up to save a bunch of strangers. God truly loved us. God truly LOVES us. John 3:16 has a new meaning for me. I am so thankful for that sacrifice, for the role Jesus plays in my life today, and for the new life I am promised because He lives. I am also grateful to his earthly mother, Mary, who gave birth to Him, raised Him, and had to watch as he was humiliated and killed. She was also there to meet Him after He had risen; and for that reason I praise Him with a grateful heart.

And He said to them, " Why are you troubled? And why do doubts arise in your hearts?
Behold My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself. Handle Me and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see I have." - Luke 24: 38-39

All Because Two People Fell in Love...

Six years ago, I believe it was February 20th to be exact, after an awkward I-think-we-are-just-friends-but-I-baked-your-favorite-cookies Valentines Day, on a walk around our college campus, I sat down next to Jeff on a bench by a little pond where he asked me to be his girlfriend. Almost ten months later, on a chilly December night after almost getting lost in downtown OKC and after a delicious dinner, he asked me to be his wife. Seven months later, we said our vows in Texas. After a relaxing week in the Dominican Republic, we moved to Colorado with no jobs lined up. Good idea, right? From those first couple of months of marriage, not knowing how we were going to make our rent payments, to the birth of our first child this year, it has been a fun ride so far. I can't believe we will be celebrating our fifth anniversary this year! I love you, Jeffrey Barros, and I'll be saying that on our fiftieth anniversary like it was day one! :)

My Valentine - Our First Date Night Post-Bennett :)

Gizmo Eyes!

My mom came to visit for Valentine's Day and hang out with her little Valentine while we went out to eat at a fancy restaurant in town. :) It is so awesome to see my mom with her first grandbaby. It makes me miss my family more living in a different state. So thankful for Skype and Facebook and the ability to share photos so easily. We are going to Texas in April. So excited to see my fam, but a little nervous taking a three month old on his first plane ride... My parents also already have a family vacation planned for June. We are going to Orlando! Should be interesting...

A teddy from Uncle Austin!

Bennett is sleeping a little longer during the night which is great. He is actually sleeping in five hour spurts. Some nights (like last night) are not so great, but there are more good than bad. He is so hungry all the time and eats so fast he gets gassy sometimes. This kid has been gassy since day one! I remember asking the nurses if it was normal for a newborn to be letting out man farts. Haha. I swear the kid goes through a growth spurt at least once a week. He gained two whole pounds in the first month and he is already fitting into his 3 month outfits! It's crazy how the time flies! Before we know it, we will be on our way to Ethiopia to pick up his sibling. On that subject, we will be updating our home study in the next couple of months to include our new family member. Our caseworker says we should expect a referral call sometime in the year 2014. It still seems far away (especially since we started the process in 2011) but with Bennett here now, I really think the timing is going to work out great.

LOVE

Jeff is in his last semester of seminary. Thank the Lord! It only took FOUR years (seminary degrees are long), but so proud of him! He graduates in May and is already working on reappointing as a 1st Lieutenant in the Air Force. I'm still taking some classes online, but I'd like to take a few classes on campus this summer or fall. I'm going to a Graduate School Open House in March so I'm hoping to get started on my own Master's degree soon! I can't believe it has been almost ten years since I graduated high school. Jeff already has his ten year reunion this year and mine will be next year. Our little Benny will be walking by then! Ah!

We don't eat the teddy bear!

Baby, there ain't nothin' not affected
When two hearts get connected
All that is, will be, or ever was
I'm glad your dad could not resist
Your mama's charms and you exist
All because two people fell in love
You know, to me it's all so clear
Every one of us is here
All because two people fell in love

Our Little Gift

Gotta love that Brad Paisley...

Aww...

I am Dirt

And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. - Genesis 2:7

Exactly four weeks ago, we welcomed our beautiful baby boy, Bennett Eugene, into this world! He was born January 5, 2013 at 10:47 am; 6 lb, 14 oz, and 19.5 inches. Things have been crazy since then and it took me a good 2-3 weeks before I actually started feeling human again. The experience of bringing him into this world was hard, exhausting, and beautiful... and has taken me a while to figure out how to put it into words.

 

Looking at my little man today, I am just amazed at this mini human body that the Lord created. I mean, this little person was formed inside of me! His big blue/gray eyes, cute button nose, organs, and fragile little skeleton all woven together in my womb. He is just perfect. I learned in one of my classes yesterday that an embryo's central nervous system begins forming at just two weeks! The heart starts beating at four weeks. All this before most people even find out they are pregnant! Wow.

This miracle of life caused me to look back into the book of Genesis at the very first creation of man. The Lord took some lucky dirt and formed it into a person just as he used my body to create our little Bennett. Perhaps it was an uncomfortable experience for that dirt, but the ending result was life. Though it hurt like hell to finally get him here, the Lord used my womb to mold a new human into being. Like that dirt that was there the day God breathed life into the first man, I bore witness to (and very actively participated in) a new human being breathing his first breath in this world. I have to say, that moment, that first gurgled breath and cry, made all the hours of painful contractions worth it. When they placed that screaming baby, MY screaming baby, into my arms there was this overwhelming sense of joy, relief, and something I can only describe as reverence; as if I had just been a part of something sacred. As sacred as the day Adam took his first breath. You mamas out there know what I am talking about...

My labor lasted approximately 13 hours, though I'm not exactly sure. I went in because my blood pressure was high and I was having stomach cramps. It turns out I was also having very slight contractions every two minutes, lasting about a minute. I was glad that my doctor was there that weekend. I had the choice to go home or have her break my water. I was nervous about going home, an hour away, and then having to make that drive again later in labor. So... I had her break my water. Three hours later, I wasn't dilated enough so they gave me what I was absolutely dreading... pitocin. It made contractions hurt like a *bleep* but I did dilate faster. I finally had to break down and ask for something, anything less than an epidural. They gave me half a dose of a pain medication and, honestly, it didn't do jack! I have never been in so much pain in my life. The only way I could describe it was, "Oh my Lord, I'm dying!" I knew I wasn't, but holy ouch. I wanted to go as natural as possible, but with the pitocin, I really wasn't sure I was going to be able to make it through to the end. Now I know why people go for the epidural and even the scheduled c-section.

Now that I have made it through the experience and I am finally holding my son in my arms, minus the fact that I broke down and asked for a pain med, I am so proud of myself. I feel like I have this connection with billions of women who have gone before me. Corny, I know, but I'm looking at it from an anthropologist's perspective here.

I couldn't have done it without my mom, who stayed awake and by my side through the whole night (the doc broke my water just after midnight and he wasn't born until 10:47 am). My husband may have taken a nap somewhere in there, but really, what could he do? Having him there and holding my hand (and leg) as Bennett was being born was an experience we shared that just can't be duplicated. We are a closer family because of it. I was nervous and a bit embarrassed, but he has touched my heart so much with the way he has taken care of me. The way he looks into our son's eyes and tells him how much he loves him just makes me melt. I love our little family.

I went in with so much confidence in my high tolerance for pain, but ended up broken before he was finally here. I cried. I chanted, "ow, ow, ow, ow" - something I wanted to avoid. I complained and got frustrated with myself a lot more than I thought I would. And yes, I got frustrated with my mom and the nurse who tried to tell me I wasn't breathing right. No method of breathing made it hurt any less, ladies! I thank everyone for their support, but ultimately, it was an ordeal I had to go through myself... and gosh darnit, I did it!

Although it seems like forever ago now, Jeff's dad, sister, and her husband came to visit for Christmas. We had a great time with great company. New Year's was uneventful. I wasn't feeling well and my blood pressure was high so Jeff went to a party without me, but came home to be with me at midnight. :) I am glad Bennett came a little early because I was quite bored, not having been at work since December 5, exactly a month before his birthday. Also, a huge thanks to so many of our church family members who have brought us meals these past few weeks. They have been delicious and such a blessing for a sore new mama who couldn't make it out to the store for a while. I'm so excited to be a new mommy and Bennett is already such an adorable blessing to us. I never knew my heart could be so full...

For You formed my inward parts;You covered me in my mother's womb.I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;- Psalm 139: 13-14

Christmas Cookies of 2012

[I started typing this post up two weeks ago... probably time I should finish it.]

I made a ridiculous amount of cookies this year... like I do most years. Of course, this year I was put on maternity leave early so I had a little extra time on my hands. Here are a few of my favorites from this holiday season!

Tangerine Butter Cookies

These are delicious and unique, I have made them two years in a row. I got this from a Better Homes and Gardens special edition magazine from 2008.

Tangerine Butter (top cookie with the "+")
Pumpkin Pockets (middle cookie with the star)

3/4 cup butter, softened
11/2 cups sugar
11/2 tsp baking soda
11/2 tsp cream of tartar
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
2 tsp shredded tangerine peel
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp orange extract
3/4 cup olive oil
1/2 cup white cornmeal
4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar

1) In large bowl, beat butter on medium to high for 30 seconds. Add the 11/2 cups of sugar, the baking soda, cream of tartar, and salt. Beat until light and fluffy, scraping bowl occasionally. Beat in eggs, tangerine peel, vanilla, and orange extract until combined. Gradually beat in oil until smooth. Beat in cornmeal. Beat in as much of the flour as you can with the mixer. Stir in any remaining flour. If necessary, cover and chill for 30-60 minutes or until dough is easy to handle.
2) Preheat oven to 350 F. Place the 1/2 cup sugar in a small bowl. Shape dough into 1-inch balls; roll balls in sugar to coat. Place balls 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Using a wooden skewer or toothpick, press an X into each ball of dough.
3) Bake in the preheated oven for 9-11 minutes or until tops are very lightly browned. While warm, lightly press again with wooden skewer to make deeper X. Transfer cookies to a wire rack; let cool. Makes about 84 cookies.

Pumpkin Pockets

Also my favorite! Found this recipe in the same magazine and bought a nice cookie cutter to make these extra fancy and professional.

1/2 cup water
1 tbsp granulated sugar
2 tsp cornstarch
1/2 cup pumpkin butter
1/2 cup snipped, pitted whole dates
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground cloves
3/4 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup molasses
1 egg

1) For filling: In a small saucepan, combine the water, granulated sugar, and cornstarch. Stir in pumpkin butter and dates. Bring to boiling, stirring to dissolve sugar; reduce heat. Cook, uncovered, about 15 minutes or until filling is thickened, stirring frequently. Cook for 1 hour.
2) Meanwhile, stir together flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, salt, and cloves. In a large bowl, beat butter with an electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Add brown sugar and molasses. Beat until combined, scraping bowl. Beat in egg. Beat in as much of the flour mixture as you can. Using a wooden spoon, stir in any remaining flour mixture. Divide dough into thirds. Cover and chill about 1 hour.
3) Preheat oven to 375 F. Line a large cooke sheet with parchment paper; set aside. On a lightly floured surface, roll out one of the dough portions to a 1/8-inch thickness. Using a floured fluted, round 2-inch cookie cutter, cut out dough. Place half of the dough rounds 2 inches apart on prepared cookie sheet. Spread about 1/2 teaspoon of the filling in the center of each round on cookie sheet.
4) Using a floured 1/2- to 3/4-inch hors d'oeuvre cutter, cut out centers from the remaining dough rounds (I used a special cookie cutter with the center already cut out). Place cutout rounds on top of filling-topped rounds; press edges together.
5) Bake for 8-9 minutes or just until edges are firm. Transfer cookies to a wire rack; let cool. Repeat with remaining dough portions and remaining filling. Makes about 60 cookies.

Sour Cream Sugar Cookies

And finally, my go-to yummy sugar cookies recipe I use for those fun cookie cutouts I get to decorate with icing and sprinkles! Easy and delicious.

Christmas Cutouts

22/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 egg
1 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup sour cream

1) Combine first five ingredients and set aside.
2) Cream softened butter and sugar with mixer. Beat in egg and vanilla.
3) Stir in half of flour mixture with half of sour cream to the creamed mixture. Add remaining flour and sour cream; mix well. Divide dough into four parts.
4) On lightly floured surface, roll out one part of the dough to 1/4-inch thickness. Use cookie cutters to cut out shapes.
5) Place cutouts one inch apart on ungreased baking sheet and bake at 350 F for 10-12 minutes. Place on wire rack to cool.
6) Repeat with remaining dough.
7) Top with icing and sprinkles when cool! Yields approximately 31/2 dozen cookies.


ENJOY!!

New Camera, New Shape

So I've been trying to figure out my new camera. It is fabulous, by the way. I really wanted to get some professional photos of Jeff and I this summer, but after finding out I was pregnant (and checking out the costs), I decided against it. For now. We never even got engagement photos taken, so we've been wanting to get some pro photos. I guess we will just have to do so after our little one gets here! Of course I can't wait to do some newborn photos of him myself... :)

I have also been on the fence about getting maternity photos done. I've seen some really classy ones and some just plain awkward ones. There were some cute ones on Pinterest (see the name tag photo) and I also combined some ideas from the internet. My favorite is the Christmas tree photo. I saw one of two little kids standing in front of a lit up tree online and thought it would look cool to get a shot of my pregnant silhouette in front of the tree. In order to capture that shot the recommendation was to put the ISO on the camera as high as possible (mine went up to 6400), change the shutter speed to 1/30, and set the f-stop to 1.8 (mine would only go down to 4). The results turned out awesome! I plan to try this out in the future with my kiddos. I just wish my tree wasn't crammed in a corner with crap all around it. Any who... enjoy the photos!

PS... the doc put me on early maternity leave due to high blood pressure. Baby is looking great and his estimated weight is almost six pounds, but mommy is getting more uncomfortable by the day and now has lots more free time. This gives me more time to get my baking done and get the house ready for his arrival... at least after Christmas I'm hoping. I'll have to take some photos of the many different cookie recipes I tried out this year!

Giving Thanks Season

Sleepy

We are SO glad my family made the trip out to see us this Thanksgiving. Every year we make the 12 hour drive to see our families in Oklahoma, but this year, it was just a gift to stay home and relax. We will be missing some close family members this holiday season, but were reminded this week that the Lord gives as much as he takes away. The day before Thanksgiving, we took my family to my 32 week 3D ultrasound to see their newest family member! Technology these days is amazing and we were able to see our precious son's face quite clearly. He was sleeping and a little mad at us for waking him up...

Adorable

Grumpy

Baby Yawn!

We also had the chance to finish his nursery! We have had a few baby showers with family, friends, and church family and they have blessed us with everything we need! So thankful for those that are just surrounding our growing little family with love.

Because the Barros family will be making the trek up here for Christmas to visit us this year, we went ahead and had our Christmas present openings with the Waylans. Austin and Autumn got Uncle and Aunt t-shirts. Dad got his cross pen he has been asking for. Mom even got her Mother's Ring she has been asking for and wasn't expecting from all her kids this year! Jeff got CU football tickets for the next day. And I got my camera!! We've already gotten a glimpse at Bennett's adorable face... this new camera is going to be put to good use when he finally gets here!

Yup! The game is tomorrow!

Happy about expensive pens...

Auntie Aummie

Uncle Austin

Mama's Bling

Friday was game day. Jeff was surprised and loved his gift. Though the Buffs are having a not-so-great season, it was some quality family fun! And Bennett's only free game he will get to go to...

Just a little over 7 weeks until we get to meet our little one! We are getting really excited and just can't wait to meet him. :)