What It Means to be Pro-Life

I’m going to touch on a controversial topic here today. I don’t usually mess with hot topics because “I’m a Virgo. I don’t like confrontations.” In other words, no matter what I say or what my opinion is, there is going to be someone who thinks differently than I do. And that’s okay! We can have grown-up conversations and treat each other like respectable human beings? Right? I hope so. I have stuff to get off my flat chest. So here goes…

I am Pro-Life/Pro-Woman. Or, as I like to put it Pro-Options. I’ll explain this a bit further. Abortion is a super hot topic these days so I’m going to put on my cushiony oven mitts while I handle this post. So disclaimer here: I get real. I get honest. Let’s put on our big girl panties.

If you know my personal story, I am Pro-Life for many more reasons than just the cross that hangs around my neck. Perhaps I will share that another day. Someone says they are Pro-Life and people say, “Well, you must be a Christian! But you are the ones who judge me!” Let me be the first to say that much of the Church dropped the ball on this one in the 20^th century. The brothers and sisters who have gone before us, God bless them, their love did not always shine through in their efforts to stand up for what they believe in. But we are getting there.

One of the big arguments that is used to promote abortions is that women will get an abortion out of desperation regardless of its legal status, leading to botched abortion jobs that could harm these ladies. These days, I beg to differ. What I want these unexpected mothers to know more than anything is that they are loved. Your life is just as precious as that baby you carry. There is support for you as you make decisions for the two of you. During and after pregnancy. My dear, you have so many options! We just do not live in the same culture that Roe vs. Wade took place in. Those fears of being judged, condemned, and disowned have lessened. Is there still that possibility? Unfortunately, yes, but humans are not perfect.

We live in a time when non-traditional families are everywhere! Families grow through births, adoptions, step-children, fostering… Like I said, options!

Mamas, there are churches and support groups and pregnancy centers and adoption agencies that are there for you! They bring with them love and joy, not judgment and condemnation. You have options! Please, please, take the time to talk to someone and weigh those options carefully. HERE are some resources you can call!

I know that some will say that you have a right to choose what you do with your body, and I 100% agree. But, you are making the choice for another body as well in this situation. It’s tough, gals. I’m not going to sugar coat it for you. You are an independent person with a dependent person growing inside of you.

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How freaking awesome are you?! You are growing a person! Please don’t be fooled by the lies that abortion has anything to do with women’s rights or feminism. Ladies, there is a new feminism in town and it doesn’t necessarily involve burning bras and wearing men’s suits. Be proud of who you are and what your body can do! Did I mention that you are growing a person?! You are a precious vessel incubating a member of our future generation and the future of mankind. Do not take this lightly. Do not let others look down on you for this. You may not have planned to be a life-holder, at least not at this point in your life, but here you are. And it is tough. And it is beautiful. No man can do what you do and not even all women are blessed with such a gift.

Don’t let the world tell you that you are incapable; that you were not meant for this task of carrying and birthing a human life. Pregnancy is not some disease, for goodness sake! The world wants to label it as such, giving it side effects and pills to deal with it; some point at you and say “well, that’s just the worst thing that could have happened to her” and others offer you an “easy way out.” Either way, you feel judged for *gasp* becoming pregnant unexpectedly or outside of marriage, and you feel judged for choosing an abortion, choosing the “easy way out.” You feel condemned no matter which “side” you choose. We humans are confusing, judgmental people.

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To my Pro-Lifers, my Pro-Choicers, and my On-the-Fencers, this is more than just a political stance we are dealing with. This is LIFE. Not just the life of a child, but of a woman. There should be no fear of condemnation for rocking a baby bump in whatever life circumstances you find yourself. We need not judge her, but hold her hand and tell her she is beautiful! I consider it a crisis when millions of women each year, just here in America, feel that they are left with no other choice but an abortion. Where are the options for these women and the support that they need??

I’m not necessarily talking about the life-or-death situations here. But in more “normal” cases, you know, when the wine was just too good and the lights were just too low (*wink*wink*), abortion is not birth control. If we want to see abortion rates go down in America, let’s have those women’s clinics offer more free birth control, even free insertable ones! What are those called? My high school was passing out free condoms at one point, for Pete’s sake! And yet our pregnancy rates were out the roof.

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Let’s make adoption more affordable! (Please, oh please!) Shoot, let’s offer more affordable tubal ligations for the mamas who know without a doubt that they are done. For those working mamas and student mamas, let’s tap into those free childcare resources. And, for goodness sake, can we stop trying to turn our women into men and support them when they need to take time off to birth and care for these little humans? Surprise, Human Resources! Women need time to heal after pushing a human being out of their vaginas! What is up with the 12 weeks of UNPAID maternity leave? Politicians, corporate world, universities, fast-food chains – wake up and support our mothers!! Think retention, not unproductivity. Let’s follow the lead of every other developed country and take care of our new mothers with paid leave! Abortion rates in places like Canada, with a year’s worth of paid maternity leave, have actually gone down! 

When women feel safe, loved, and supported in less-than-desirable situations, it frees them up to make decisions not based on fear and rejection, or flat-out survival.

Here’s where I get brutally honest to future mamas (and daddies): If you aren’t ready to be a parent, either keep it in your pants or use birth control. That should always be the FIRST choice that is made when it comes to preventing unwanted pregnancies. Just like we need to be grown ups and have civil, adult conversations, let’s make some common sense, adult choices people. Life has this thing called consequences.

And if you mess up (or that birth control fails you), woman up and deal with it. Life just ain’t a bucket of rainbows and sunshine. I’m sorry, dear. People make mistakes. People fail. People let you down. You are talking to a multiple-offender here. It’s just in our nature. Cry about it. Scream in your pillow. Talk someone’s ear off until their ear is literally lying there on the floor and you have to take them to the ER to have their ear sewn back on. And then, once you’ve dealt with those emotions, look for those options. Look for that support. (My dear Church, BE that support!) It is there. I’ve seen it.

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I get it. Pregnancy can be hard. Parenting is even harder. It is not for the faint of heart. Children can be life-sucking, little narcissists. We don’t exactly give birth to baby unicorns (um, ouch) who can change their own diapers and feed themselves straight out of the womb. I have had both an easy and a hard pregnancy. I’ve put my career on hold for these little boogers and I’ve gone to school in the midst of going from one minion to two rampaging through our household. Sometimes I wonder, “This is what I wanted more than anything in the world? This is what kept me up at night, two shades away from depression when I thought my womb barren?” YUP! They have been such blessings in disguise and, in caring for another human being (and making me one toddler tantrum away from my own crazy outburst), they teach you so much about yourself and they change you from the inside out. Ladies, do we want our children to believe that they are loved only when they are convenient to us? Church, do we want our mothers to believe the same? Let’s raise up our mothers and their children with the knowledge that they are wanted. That they are not to be loved based upon convenience and schedules.

Church, keep stepping it up. I pray that you will be a sanctuary and a place of refuge for these hurting women. Adopt, foster, mentor mothers, and fight for their support from our government and their employers. But above all, love. We must love humbly and with grace because that is how He first loved us.

Mamas, You. Are. Loved. I can’t say this enough because my heart just swells with compassion and empathy and hope for you. A Pro-Life stance is not just about “saving” that baby inside you. It’s about options. It’s about being Pro-Options. It’s about embracing those in need. It’s about love.