... and let it begin with me...
Our church had a Christmas musical special Sunday, and those lyrics are what stood out to me the most. It reminds me of other great advice I've heard over the years. Like, "Be the change you want to see in the world," which has been attributed to Gandhi. Or Mother Theresa's simple belief that, "Peace begins with a smile." Unfortunately, I don't see world peace ever truly manifesting itself as we all picture it. Our world is just too fallen. But, in each one of our small corners of the world, we can begin to spread love and peace to those around us in hopes that it will be contagious and spread. However, there is more to it than just "paying it forward" or doing something nice for another person. Yes, that is the action of peace, but the spirit of peace is something that can be much more effective. When good deeds and acts of kindness are completed with a spirit of peace and unconditional love behind them, the effect of those actions are multiplied and it gives the one helped something more satisfying to pass along to the next person. Funny thing about the gifts of peace, hope, and love - their purest source comes from God alone. No matter how much I love my children, or how much I hope to bring peace to a family quarrel, I will never be able to replicate the perfect peace that comes from knowing our perfect God. This Christmas season, and throughout the year, please do continue to help others, to smile at them, and to show them love regardless of their differences from you, but be sure to pass on something a little more; something with a lasting impact - share with others the hope and peace you have because of the One whom we celebrate this time of year (no, not Santa) - Jesus Christ!
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled; neither let it be afraid." - John 14:27
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| At the Christmas Parade |
And sometimes the best way for you to spread peace is to hold onto peace yourself in the midst of chaos. Easier said than done, right? Those lyrics this weekend were a great reminder to not just spread the peace I have, but also simply where to get more of it! I'm exhausted, my body hurts (this baby seems so heavy!), and I'm having a hard time finding the motivation to finish my thesis before baby gets here. Thank goodness it's not due until February! Though, I don't know where the motivation will come from between now and then either. Anyway, this has all led me to a place of daily frustration. Basically, some days I feel like the world's worst mother because my almost-two-year old really knows how to push my buttons at times and chasing him around has become a task with my big belly in the way. I feel like every time I try to put my feet up to relax a bit, he's into something I told him not to touch, or do, or lick, or eat... whatever.
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| Happy Thanksgiving! |
One day, a little over a week ago, was particularly taxing. It was just non-stop disobedience and by the end of the day when Jeff came home, I wanted to hide in a dark room from my little "darling." I had yelled way more than I wanted and at one point asked him to just go away and leave me alone because I couldn't take the whiny orneriness anymore! I felt so bad later, I wanted to cry. Poor little bubs gave me an unfortunate chance to redeem myself that very night. He woke up around midnight crying. I went into his room and he was crying, "Poop! Poop! No!" It smelled kind of funky so I just thought he pooped his pants. That was until he showed me what "poop" he was talking about. He had puked all over his bed! I felt horrible for him! After calling in reinforcements (Jeff got up and cleaned up all the puke), I cleaned off the kid, gave him some water, and laid him in our bed. My poor baby threw up a couple more times, but he was keeping water down and wasn't running a temp. It was his first time to really throw up like that, minus his infant spitting up days, but I wasn't too worried. Just felt so bad for him. I held him while he threw up and kept crying, "No! No!" The same way he does when he pees or poops in his big boy undies, like he's in trouble. I had to explain to him that he wasn't in trouble. When he finally got to sleep, he was taking up the whole bed (yes, I actually gave up my giant pregnancy pillow for a night so he could sleep with us!) and he wanted to cling to me all night. I don't blame him. Throwing up SUCKS. By morning, we were cuddled on the couch together so that I could comfortably hold him sitting up, with my big belly in the way, while he slept. I hate that he had that stomach bug, but it sort of gave me a chance to make up for my bad attitude that day. Yes, my son was being a brat, but I'm still working on the patience to handle it these days. Reflecting back on my reaction as a mom to give up my sleep and sleeping space to console my sick child and keep an eye on him while he slept, reassures me that I don't
always get it wrong.
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| The Waylan Family |
For my fellow exhausted mamas out there, don't dwell on those days when you feel you are at your worst. Instead, draw encouragement from those times you got it right and were the only one your child wanted in a time of need. We aren't perfect (and neither are our beautiful, little angels), but by golly, we sure can love the fire out of our kids!
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| The Barros Family |
And, by the way, I did get the stomach bug from Bennett. Worst. Day. Ever. The discomfort of being almost nine months pregnant and having to deal with fever, chills, body aches, and an upset stomach with a baby boy to kick it is pure torture... Thank God it only lasted 24 hours! I don't think I could have made it through a week or two of a full-on flu!
Thanksgiving with family was marvelous, though, and went by way too quickly! I can't believe it is already time to see them again and Christmas is already next week! I'm so thankful they are coming to me again (and that we are yet another week closer to baby time!). We have Christmas, then New Year, Bennett's birthday party, then a baby! Of course, baby boy could choose to make his debut anytime between now and then. I just want to make it through Bennett's birthday party, then he can came as early as that night if he wishes!
