"Why Can't You Just Listen?!" and Other Mom-Things God Probably Thinks

What is it with kids and NOT listening to what you are telling them to do or NOT to do?

"Clean up your mess."

"Don't hit your brother."

"Go wash your hands, please."

"Don't run out into the street!"

"DON'T pee in that potted plant!"

"DO NOT touch that poisonous snake!"

So many do's and don't's, right? It's a lot for a little kid to learn, but you'd think by the 156th time you ask them not to climb your stove, they'd catch a hint. I don't know about your two-year-old, but mine likes to not just ignore what I'm saying at times, but continues to stare right at me while he does whatever he knows he's not supposed to.

Legit example #42: 

"B, don't go near that electric socket with those keys."

*B (the 2-year-old) continues to walk towards the only unprotected socket in the living room I just used to plug a vacuum into*

"I'm not kidding. Please listen."

*B has the "are you talking to me look" now*

"Do NOT put those keys near that socket, mister."

*what these keys? okay... proceeds to pretend he is unlocking the socket*

"NO!" *running to snatch away keys* "What did I tell you?! That's dangerous! Why can't you just listen?!"

This is the exact reason B only has plastic keys to play with. In a perfect world, every electric socket would be closed at all times, the vacuum would never get left out, and my home would be covered in bubble wrap and padded walls, right? Ideally, my son would listen at all times as well. Not going to happen. 

Give me fruit snacks now!

Now why didn't I just stop him to begin with? First of all, I don't have 8 arms. Many times moms (or dads) have their hands full. Maybe you're messing with raw chicken for dinner or a crying baby you are trying to feed. Whatever it is, we can't always be our little one's shadows, following them around with a bandaid and lollipop, hovering over them just waiting for something to happen. And if you are, you are clearly superhuman and therefore have no purpose in reading my silly shenanigans anyway. Only Wonder Woman could nurse an infant and lasso an ornery toddler at once. Hm... maybe I need to invest in a lasso.

But more importantly... children NEED a chance to make that choice - whether they are going to listen and obey or completely ignore you and do their own thing (regardless of the consequences, you know, like electrocution). I'm convinced that toddlers are the most irrational beings on the planet, but they have so much to learn so we try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I obviously have my child's best interest in mind when I tell him not to mess with an electric outlet and he knows by now that he will get into trouble if he does not listen, yet he still blatantly disobeys! And my level of frustration only rises the more I tell him not to do something and the more dangerous that something is! I'm trying to save your life, kid!

Now let's think about older children, teenagers, adults... we all do the same thing! Doesn't it seem like your children like to do the exact opposite of what you say? And, as a kid (and perhaps still now), don't you remember that urge to do whatever it is you know you aren't supposed to? Mom said not to steal the sugar jar and pour it into my mouth, but it tastes so good! The forbidden is so enticing!

Here's where I'm going with this. We are currently studying Genesis with our youth group on Sunday mornings. We are only on Chapter 2, but already you can see how saturated with theology the first couple of chapters are. It's thick, y'all! Don't even get me started on that here.

Our study guide asks about the "tree of knowledge of good and evil" and why God put it there. There are so many questions surrounding this! Why did God put it there in the first place? Why didn't He just let them eat from it? Or just get rid of it all together? And why on earth didn't Adam and Eve just LISTEN to Him and NOT eat from that dang tree?! Things would be so different if they had.

Yes, we have an innate rebellious nature (just look at my toddler), and God knew that when He created us, but that is the beauty of it all. By giving Adam and Eve the choice to obey or disobey Him, He only proves His love for us by multitudes because He created us to have our own free will. The tree and its forbidden fruit reveals this. God could have easily not created it, not given them the choice, just as easily as He could have forced them to obey Him. But He didn't. Instead He let them decide. Just as He still allows us to decide for ourselves whether we will follow Him.

And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, "Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat;
"but of the tree of knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die." - Genesis 2:16-17

Now you might try to argue that God set them up for failure because He knew that they would disobey Him, but He also warned them and it was the absolute ONLY thing in the whole garden He told them not to touch! Geez, Eve! Geez, Adam! Could He have just told them, rationally and reasonably, "Listen, y'all. I'm putting this tree here to allow you to exercise your free will, but DO NOT eat from it or you will surely die. And when you do eat from it, then I will be lenient with you and banish you from this paradise forever. Oh, and did I mention that your wrong decision will enter sin into this perfect world that I created, it will stain humanity forever, but I will eventually send my only begotten Son to suffer and die for you and your sins so that you might still have a chance to live with me in eternity?"

"What the what, God?" I'm paraphrasing here, but I'm sure Adam and Eve would have hypothetically responded to God in a similar manner. Point is: I might as well try to explain to B what it is like to get electrocuted or hit by a car or burnt alive. It's not a concept he is going to grasp because he cannot yet understand the magnitude of one horrible decision. Unlike us mortal parents, however, God is ALWAYS in control. We can't see the big picture like He can, so our job is to trust and obey.

 I swear sometimes I can hear God saying exactly the same thing I tell my own children: "Why can't you just listen to me?!" And like my children, I have the freedom to choose my path while God continues to love me unconditionally. You know what brings Him joy, though? When we listen and obey. Why? Because it is our choice. You know what I'm talking about, parents. Doesn't your heart just soar when your child abides by your teachings and chooses for himself or herself to obey? All that worry, love, and time you invested into teaching your child wrong from right shines through when you see them make the right decision. At my current stage in mommyhood, those proud moments involve watching my son play kindly with his little brother instead of ride the infant like a horse or choosing to blow his nose instead of eat his boogers (it's the little things, y'all).

Those sweet moments.

Am I going to pause the moment and remember that my children have free will the next time they are disobeying me? Maybe. Maybe not. But it makes great reflection when thinking later, "Why can't you just listen?" They can and they do... at times. My job as a parent is to teach with consistency so that they know what to expect when they have decisions to make. And to beam with pride when they make good decisions. Because we, as parents, feel loved and appreciated like that. 

So does God. How do you show God that you love Him? Just like your children, your little, everyday decisions matter. What will you choose to do with them?

Your word is a lamp to my feet

And a light to my path.

I have sworn and confirmed

That I will keep Your righteous judgments.

I am afflicted very much;

Revive me, O Lord, according to Your word.

Accept, I pray, the freewill offerings of my mouth, O Lord,

And teach me Your judgments.

My life is continually in my hand,

Yet I do not forget Your law.

The wicked have laid a snare for me,

Yet I have not strayed from Your precepts.

Your testimonies I have taken as a heritage forever,

For they are the rejoicing of my heart.

I have inclined my heart to perform Your statutes

Forever, to the very end. - Psalm 119:105-112